So I went to a little conference, maybe you have heard of it?
The Influence Conference.
AH-MAZ-ING
First things first, while I do consider myself a blogger I am by no means a good one, and so I have no pictures.
Seriously, none.
I was too excited, too overwhelmed, and too timid to be taking pictures.
Sorry.
Second, thank you to those of you who where praying for me. I just put it all out there, all my insecurities in a little vlog, and you all responded in such sweet and supportive ways you rocked my socks off. I felt your prayers and I knew that Jesus was about to show me some of His GLORY, and that boy delivered!
Third, there are lots of things that I would like to share, lots of decisions I have made about the blog and where I go from here. Today I just want to share about answered prayers, the way that God answered the cries of my heart for last weekend {and then some}.
Basically from the moment we stepped off the plane my stomach was all a flutter, I could not believe that I was there. In a different state from my littles, just me, the hubs, and baby Micah, off on an adventure. An adventure that was all for me. I don't know about you, but as a mom I literally cannot remember a time when something happened that was just for me, all about me. The feeling was truly humbling, and brought me to thankful tears on more than one occasion through the weekend. We arrived at the hotel and I couldn't even bother to fix myself up {after waking at 4am and traveling for nearly 10 hours, that says a lot}, I just RAN down to the registration table to meet some of my Internet FAVORITES. As I approached the table I was pretty much blown away, there were
Casey and
Jessi, we have e-mailed back and forth a bit, but to see them in real life was such a treat I almost squeezed them both right there; but that would have been strange, so instead I actually squealed and scrunched into an awkward ball {way less strange right?}. Then I proceeded to ruin a surprise for Jessi and give Casey an extremely awkward half handshake side hug type thing. I forgot my ID card to actually check in to the event so,I turned, red faced, to walk back to the elevators up to my room. In the elevator I was sweating & shaking, what the hell just happened!? Why was I so awkward!? Jesus HELP ME!!!! When I got back to the room J was in the shower {thank goodness} and so I fixed my makeup and grabbed my ID along with Baby Micah and headed back down. I was so thankful to have my adorable baby buffer with me. Micah would make all things better, who could resist his cute self, even if his mother is absurd. Micah worked, as I knew he would, to make all things better. I checked in, for real, and introduced myself to several other lovely ladies hanging about before heading back up to my room having made the decision I would be bringing Micah with me to the stripes party that evening.
Unfortunately by the time the party was happening, Micah was passed out from his day of traveling, I couldn't bring him, and I considered not going. While I was getting ready I prayed, "Jesus please heal my heart. Keep me from feeling jealous or anxious. Bring me the women I need to be friends with, women that I can pour into and that can pour back into me. I pray for your Divine appointments this weekend." As I walked into that ballroom, with hundreds of women I had never before met, I continued the same prayer, "Dear Jesus, what I said before, seriously." Then I wandered around. I met some girls, made awkward small talk, decided to call it a night. Then, as I was leaving, I ran into
Julie. She called out to me, "I was the girl who was praying for you on twitter!" Oh, yes!! She had sent me a message on twitter that she was praying for me {the influence girls did that, most amazing conference EVER}. We chatted, my first real conversation, and I heard God tell me, I felt it in my heart, it was her. If the whole trip was for anything it was to meet her. Julie turned it all around for me and I went back inside, where I met several other ladies that warmed my heart. Ladies that the Lord presented to me like gifts, our friendships just waiting to be unwrapped and revealed.
I realized, I didn't need Micah. I was enough. How long have I been hiding behind my babies? Finding my worth and my value in them instead of the woman and mother God made ME? Even here on the blog, I hide behind my littles. I show you pictures of them and write endlessly about what a gift they are, how precious and naughty they are. Those things are good and they are well worth writing about. But, you know what? My heart contains more than that. I am more than a Mama, I am a friend, and a wife, and a child of God. I am going to start writing about more, I am going to be more, do more, love more. I can't wait for you to join me!!!
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In Love,
So I went to a little conference, maybe you have heard of it?
The Influence Conference.
AH-MAZ-ING
First things first, while I do consider myself a blogger I am by no means a good one, and so I have no pictures.
Seriously, none.
I was too excited, too overwhelmed, and too timid to be taking pictures.
Sorry.
Second, thank you to those of you who where praying for me. I just put it all out there, all my insecurities in a little vlog, and you all responded in such sweet and supportive ways you rocked my socks off. I felt your prayers and I knew that Jesus was about to show me some of His GLORY, and that boy delivered!
Third, there are lots of things that I would like to share, lots of decisions I have made about the blog and where I go from here. Today I just want to share about answered prayers, the way that God answered the cries of my heart for last weekend {and then some}.
Basically from the moment we stepped off the plane my stomach was all a flutter, I could not believe that I was there. In a different state from my littles, just me, the hubs, and baby Micah, off on an adventure. An adventure that was all for me. I don't know about you, but as a mom I literally cannot remember a time when something happened that was just for me, all about me. The feeling was truly humbling, and brought me to thankful tears on more than one occasion through the weekend. We arrived at the hotel and I couldn't even bother to fix myself up {after waking at 4am and traveling for nearly 10 hours, that says a lot}, I just RAN down to the registration table to meet some of my Internet FAVORITES. As I approached the table I was pretty much blown away, there were
Casey and
Jessi, we have e-mailed back and forth a bit, but to see them in real life was such a treat I almost squeezed them both right there; but that would have been strange, so instead I actually squealed and scrunched into an awkward ball {way less strange right?}. Then I proceeded to ruin a surprise for Jessi and give Casey an extremely awkward half handshake side hug type thing. I forgot my ID card to actually check in to the event so,I turned, red faced, to walk back to the elevators up to my room. In the elevator I was sweating & shaking, what the hell just happened!? Why was I so awkward!? Jesus HELP ME!!!! When I got back to the room J was in the shower {thank goodness} and so I fixed my makeup and grabbed my ID along with Baby Micah and headed back down. I was so thankful to have my adorable baby buffer with me. Micah would make all things better, who could resist his cute self, even if his mother is absurd. Micah worked, as I knew he would, to make all things better. I checked in, for real, and introduced myself to several other lovely ladies hanging about before heading back up to my room having made the decision I would be bringing Micah with me to the stripes party that evening.
Unfortunately by the time the party was happening, Micah was passed out from his day of traveling, I couldn't bring him, and I considered not going. While I was getting ready I prayed, "Jesus please heal my heart. Keep me from feeling jealous or anxious. Bring me the women I need to be friends with, women that I can pour into and that can pour back into me. I pray for your Divine appointments this weekend." As I walked into that ballroom, with hundreds of women I had never before met, I continued the same prayer, "Dear Jesus, what I said before, seriously." Then I wandered around. I met some girls, made awkward small talk, decided to call it a night. Then, as I was leaving, I ran into
Julie. She called out to me, "I was the girl who was praying for you on twitter!" Oh, yes!! She had sent me a message on twitter that she was praying for me {the influence girls did that, most amazing conference EVER}. We chatted, my first real conversation, and I heard God tell me, I felt it in my heart, it was her. If the whole trip was for anything it was to meet her. Julie turned it all around for me and I went back inside, where I met several other ladies that warmed my heart. Ladies that the Lord presented to me like gifts, our friendships just waiting to be unwrapped and revealed.
I realized, I didn't need Micah. I was enough. How long have I been hiding behind my babies? Finding my worth and my value in them instead of the woman and mother God made ME? Even here on the blog, I hide behind my littles. I show you pictures of them and write endlessly about what a gift they are, how precious and naughty they are. Those things are good and they are well worth writing about. But, you know what? My heart contains more than that. I am more than a Mama, I am a friend, and a wife, and a child of God. I am going to start writing about more, I am going to be more, do more, love more. I can't wait for you to join me!!!
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In Love,
hi amber! i met you that first night, and i am so glad i did! :) i said those same types of prayers...knowing no one, and now, having left, with new friendships, and blogs to read, and be blessed! i hope the transition back home has been well. take care! barbie f.
ReplyDeleteAmber I would have NEVER known you were so nervous. I was at the registration table when you came up and you seemed so confident and sweet and happy. And PS I was near you during worship and was LOVING watching you worship. So great meeting you this weekend!!
ReplyDelete